I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
