Only a mothe r could love this liver
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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