I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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