He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
