if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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