dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
