Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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