**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We got so high we made milksteak
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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