The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
