like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
