if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
did i walk over a car last night?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
