It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
