No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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