I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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