So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
