At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
