toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
oh god the rape fog is back!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
