imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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