I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize