I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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