White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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