he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
