Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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