I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
