STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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