My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
