...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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