There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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