He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
