all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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