their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
