Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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