the day after is always just damage control
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
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So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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