Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
