Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
