Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
