when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
