got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
