he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
