i just wanna soil my oats bro
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize