I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
