she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
