what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
