I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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