I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
