Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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