Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
