Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
