If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this just has baby written all over it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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