Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
