im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
