they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize