It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
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her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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