I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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