I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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