wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
