no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
